Life is Dead.

I hate this part right here.

2009-10-20T16:45:00.001-07:00

I hate the part when I miss you,

but you just ignore me when I say it.

I hate the part when I talk to you

and ask you if you're talking to someone else

and you just say No even though you really do.

I hate the part when I say a joke

and you won't even laugh.

I hate the part when I say goodnight

and you don't even say bye.

I hate the part when I'm trying to make a conversation

and you just answer it yes or no.

I hate the part of thinking of you

and knowing the fact that you never thought of me.

I hate the part of waiting for you

even though I know that there is nothing to wait for.

Lastly,

I hate the part of loving you

when I actually know the fact that you can NEVER love me.

Bank of Heart.

2009-10-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

If only there was a bank. A bank where you can deposit your HEART and have it locked away safe. Until one day you meet someone you feel safe with and withdraw that heart to share with that person.
But such thing only exists in my dream world. And if such thing really did exist.... I might forget the pin #, I might repeat withdraw & deposit all the time due to false alarm or I may never withdraw it.

LOVE.... you can't even smell it but why do you feel it? you can't even hold it, how can you give it away? you can't even touch it, but why does it break? and why does it hurt?

I don't wanna be that Guy that You forget about.

2009-10-06T19:12:00.001-07:00

The guy you flirt with,

but never officially date.

The guy you dance with

the entire time still thinking of him.

The guy you ask out,

then forget about.

The guy you're always friendly with,

but only out of obligation.

The guy you make feel special,

until he gets too attached.

The guy you give attention to,

only to withdraw it when he needs

it most.

The guy you string along,

until you've found someone better

to pursue.

The guy who is only like,

only to leave behind.

The guy who is never good enough,

who's always second best.

The guy who is always wears his heart

on his sleeve,

until it is ripped unceremoniously

from its place.

in short,

The guy who will

never know

what it feels like

to be...

Somebody's everything.

It might not be now but eventually it will happen.

2009-10-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

One of these days, you are going to tell him you love him.

It might not be the same kind of love like mine but it is.

It will make you and him happy.

You'll either say it first or he will. But either way, it'll be said.

And there is this 99 % chance he'll say it back

without hesitation because he means it.

And 1% percent of doubt.

That doubt comes from the fact that I'm in a distant picture.

Perhaps a blurred picture that can't be seen unless you squint,

or wear strong eye prescription.

Heck, that's only 1% so he has nothing to worry about.

Well, if he so happens to say it before you.

I wonder how much of a percentage is meant and how much is doubt.

Can you turn my black roses red?

2009-09-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Can I ask you a question please

Promise you won't laugh at me

Honestly I'm standing here

Afraid I'll be betrayed.

As twisted as it seems,

I only fear love when it's in my dreams

So let in the morning light

and let the darkness fade away.

Total Eclipse of My Heart.

2009-09-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

it may seem that i have

a blindspot when it comes

to you

but the truth of the matter is

you totally ecplise

my view.

Always another wound to discover, there's always something more you wish he'd say.

2009-09-16T23:53:00.001-07:00

but you'll sit tight

and watch it unwind

it's only what you're asking for

and you'll be just fine

with all of your time

it's only what you're waiting for.

xXx

wish i knew i was

waiting for

...

Terminally Single

2009-07-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

that's right.

i said it.

sometimes this being thing

feels like an illness.

i mean really,

if you think about it

why is it that some people

go through significant others

as quickly as the passing trends

and yet some of us

have yet to experience

just even once

what it feels like to truly be

part of a couple.

is there a cure?

or are those socially inept

in the love department

(like myself)

just destined

to be so?

I'm not ready to leave You!

2009-01-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last blog.
I think that was before my birthday.
I admit I was happy that time until
I received a call from my dad last monday.
told me that i already have the ticket to go back in Guam.

that's sucks! i guess..
i wasn't ready yet.. i mean yeah im excited to go back
to the place where I belong...
but then i'm not ready at all...

we talked about it right?
i was expecting you to break up with me,
but you told me to continue it.
I know for a fact that if we continue this relationship
it won't work at all...

ugh! i'm starting to love what's happening in my life right now,
but the part that I hate is... i'm leaving you soon..
i never felt this feeling before
to feel loved by someone...
but what's wrong with me?
I was longing for you for half of my life,
and here you are, came to my life
but then i need to leave you soon....

sad isn't it?
when you know that you found someone who will love you,
but you need to leave soon, is the saddest part.

but don't worry mahal, i know, its all just a challenge to our relationship.
Just hang on ok? we need to do this and we can do this..

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!

2008-12-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

2008! ugh! i hate to say this but really.. i hate 2008..
its been a tough year for me..
though i learned a lot of lesson.

in the past few months, i've been secluded..
considered myself of what i should do in my life..
things been complicated, feels like i couldn't take the rough road of my life.
though there are some friends who really helped me and encouraged me to go on
i still needed some to help and guide me to the life where i wanted to be.

2008 is volatile, every single second of it was like a ticking bomb.
but every memory, good or bad is always worthy to remember.
i've been rejected by those people that i love
but then, i also met new friends where i can call them family.

i was devoured by my own confidence,
deceived by my own heart and
and learned from my own mistakes..

my life was sooo fucked up this year..
lots of things to regret but then i chose not to..
life is too short, so why would i regret on those things the i've done
where i can start something new and not do those mistakes again from the past.

this was the year of learning, finding my strengths and weaknesses,
overflowing tears, and finding out that in every darkness there's always a small light that will help you to find your way into a better illumination.

in spite of those problems, discouragements, criticisms,
i met my new self,
i am strong now.
i grew up from those mistakes.
i don't decide carelessly anymore.

Although, 2008 wasn't meant for me....

I'LL MAKE SURE 2009 and the rest of the year is for ME!

HAVE A MERRY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

GOODBYE 2008!

WELCOME 2009!

and my Weakness is.....

2008-12-30T10:34:00.000-08:00

That I Care Too Much.

i've really gotta stop that.

it's never done me any good.

i tend to go out of my way
to avoid making people feel bad, bored,
dull or unwanted

i try my damnedest to always be
charming, witty
engaged and empathic

but do i get the same in return?

rarely...

or more often than not
i would say...

not even close.

How I wish I was a Robot.

2008-12-29T09:38:00.000-08:00

robots are not confined
by the biological limitations
of sleeping or eating

robots can work nonstop
until they reach the needed results
and in no time flat
i might add

robots don't take forever to get to "sleep"
they come with the built-in luxury of immediately
shutting down.

no unnecessary dreams
no tossing and turning to find
that comfortable place
no having to push unwanted thoughts
out of their computer-chipped minds

(afterall, what are delete buttons for?)

robots come equipped
with pre-programemd destinies
no worrying over what you will
someday amount to
that knowledge is already pulsing through
your very circuitry

robots don't get attached.
they don't experience the emotional highs
and lows of manufactured relationships

nor the pains of loneliness or emptiness
when said relations are lost

Error found: connection non-existent;
it's all the same to a machine.

xXx

It is the simple life, for the complex being
and yet the complex life, for the simple one

yes,

i imagine i'd rather like
being a robot.

Say It Like You Mean It.

2008-12-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

another lapse in judgment.

i'm happy.

so what do i do?

i check your site
to see what you've been up to

'cause it's not like i can talk to you
these days.

and really
the one thing i wish more
than almost anything else

is to be able to say that i'm

COMPLETELY OVER YOU

but this time,
to actually MEAN IT.

"Twilight" Pinoy Remake is a Hoax?

2008-12-27T21:30:00.000-08:00

(quoted from Twilight Coven Philippines, Dec. 28th)

"Twilight" Pinoy Remake is a Hoax?

Yehey.com's Buzzbox is reporting that ABS-CBN's plan to remake "Twilight" as "Takipsilim" is a hoax. Yehey's Entertainment Editor, Edgar Cruz, writes:

Save the effort and hate words, guys! Buzzbox clarified with ABS-CBN Corporate Communication Head Bong Osorio and after checking with ABS-CBN Television Head Cory Vidanes categorically stated: “There is no plan for ABS-CBN to remake ‘Twilight.’

Visit http://www.yehey.com/entertainment/celebs/article.aspx?id=231529 for the rest of the article.

Hold your vampire celebrations, though, Twilighters. While this is comforting news to most of us who are against the idea of the Pinoy Remake, there are still several unanswered questions here.

1. Why did ABS-CBN post the news confirming thet they are indeed remaking Twilight on their News Site in the first place? Why did they take down the article later on?

2. Why can't ABS-CBN just make a simple official statement on their website saying "No, we are not going to do a remake of Twilight" if they really aren't, or "Yes, we are going to do a remake of Twilight" if they really are? An official statement should effectively shut down all the speculation, which, believe us, is not doing anything good for the reputation of the Philippine Entertaiment Industry in the eyes of the international media and foreign Twilight fans. We've seen all the comments, and while we know most people have over-reacted, those comments still hurt.

Until we see an actual official statement from ABS-CBN explaining all this, we can't entirely consider this matter closed. We will ease up a bit and play some vampire baseball to celebrate, but to quote, ironically enough, GMA's Mike Enriquez, "di namin ito tatantanan".

Got this one from: http://orangepapaya.multiply.com/journal/item/5/Twilight_Pinoy_Remake_is_a_Hoax

Imprinting...

2008-12-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

wish it were real.

in the twilight sense,

i mean.

think about it

a phenomenon which allows two people

to instantly recognize that they are soul mates

a guaranteed care giver,

best friend, protector

and eventually lover

a chance to see love mature

and gracefully blossom

over the years

it's the ideal really,

but that's probably also why

it can only ever exist in the world

of fantastical fiction.

Late Christmas List and Advance Birthday Wishes.

2008-12-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

I know its too late to post my Christmas List but at least i'm advance for my Birthday Wish.. hahaha.. although i know that one will give me this things but at least i hope that Santa Claus is using MULTIPLY though.. hahaha... so Santa here's my Christmas List...

1. Guitar ( i really want the black one.. hehehe..)

2. Dog (if you can just give me black chuhuahua or any color of shitzu.. *i miss my dog.. :'( *

3. Flash for my camera (anything, brand new or old ones.. hahaha.. just want to have one.. i think its cool.. and oh yeah my camera is just a Cannon Rebel XTi ok?)

4. New REAL friends (i'm talking about the REAL real friends.)

and last..

5. Have a REAL Merry Christmas (The REAL one!)

I only have TWO Birthday wishes:

SOMEONE will surprise me on my birthday with a Muffin and a candle on top or SOMEONE at least will greet me on my Birthday! hahaha..

I NEVER had surprises on my entire life unlike other people does. Sad? not really.. I enjoy spending my birthday alone and i'm used to it... *wink*

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!